JEREMYCWILSON.COM

In the age of instant gratification and communication, it is almost a quintessential experience to have felt that sinking, “Oh no” feeling of having just pressed “Send” on a message you should not have. Or even worse, getting a message where you have no idea how to interpret it. Unfortunately, this miscommunication happens far more often than it should.

The thing about miscommunication isn’t that we wanted to do it.  Nobody does. Likewise, it’s also not realistic to have the goal to never miscommunicate. I propose that the thing that really matters is to figure out how to cut down on the amount of time between when we miscommunicate and when we realize and fix it.

That’s why emails work better than texts and phone calls work better than messages. The more connected you are to a person, the more you can interpret their message and can fix what’s being said. And the more engaged you are in the conversation the faster you can understand what’s really being said.

The irony is that we all know this but continue to ignore it. We continue to send texts, to write quickly and to ignore how others might interpret it.  Significant others we are involved with. Parents that we take for granted. Bosses that we work with.  And entire organizations with hundreds of misunderstood messages every single day. In all these scenarios, we ignore the obvious fact the more we can understand and engage with people with talk to and the more we can put ourselves in other people’s shoes, the better off we will be.

In today’s world of Instant Miscommunication, real human interactions are less frequent but more important than ever before.

… are what we should all try to work on.  It’s the real secret sauce.  The wildly successful ones don’t always win because they’re smarter or work harder.  But sometimes because they work on the things that really matter.

Here’s the good news.

You don’t have to get it right the first time.  Instead, you can iterate. Try your hand at a few things until you figure it out.  Get advice from other people.  And look at see what people you trust and admire are doing.  As long as you find the right thing sooner than later.

But there’s also a downside.

Who of us really knows what the right things are? And even if you do, how do you know they’ll be the same tomorrow, let alone next month or next year? Further, the right things in Chicago won’t always be the right things in New York or California, let alone in China.

One the other hand, if you do find it, then there’s one thing that you still have to do.  You have to ignore everything else. If difficult today, living in a world of endless distraction, where people spend half their time writing 140 characters about things that don’t even matter at all.

The first mistake is falling in love with the status quo. Investing too much time and energy to keep things like they are right now.  Even when new opportunity is in front of them.

The second mistake is just the opposite–trying to create opportunity too quickly. Pushing too hard.  And forcing the issue too quickly. Even when there is plenty of time to take a step back and be patient.

MBAs and lawyers are often guilty of the first.  They get good jobs, with high incomes and do what they can to keep them.

Entrepreneurs are guilty of the second. They have the perfect idea or find a partner they like. But they don’t take a step back, think their decisions through and bring the others down the path with them, slowly but surely.   (Have you ever read the Tivo case study?)

Most of us have seen the downside of these mistakes, both personally and professionally.  But ironically we continue to make again and again.

In the midst of all the chaos in the world today, it’s more important than ever to focus on the most important work.

Unfortuantely, today’s world makes this more challenging. Not only are there more soundbites to filter than ever but we also don’t always know what work is most important. Is it our upcoming exam in two months? The numbers we have to crunch? The deal we have to close?  The memo we have to write? Or something completely unrelated to our jobs?

I don’t know if anyone has the perfect answer. But here’s one rule that sometimes works for me.

The most important work is the work where it does not matter who gets the credit.  As long as it gets finished.

On my blog, I write a lot about interesting people that come from top universities and MBA programs.  When I can, I like to write as much as I can about my fellow Stanford alum and fellow bloggers.   Well, another person I know is named Azella Perryman.  Azella is not only a friend of mine from Stanford but she also graduated from business school, and recently started a blog of her own.

According to Azella’s web-page, it’s shaping up to be a busy month. But that’s to be expected since Azella is two years out of her MBA program and has been hard at work for a while now. But it looks like Azella is also spending a lot of time reflecting, not just about the job she has now but also about her career and MBA path in general.

In my view, top MBA programs need more people just like Azella.  Who understand that business school is not only about your next career move but also about reflection on your career in general. The goods, bads and everything in between.

But don’t take it from me, take it from Azella and check out her most recent BLOG POST  (10 Things I Wish I knew About Getting an MBA).

Azella, best of luck with your new BLOG.  Keep me posted on your progress, and let us know how we can spread the word!

If you were in my shoes, do you know what I would do? Would you know how I feel. Have you even thought about it?

Extending our hand to someone in need is easy. But extending our heart? That’s different. It’s hard. But it’s critical.

As a manager, nothing you do will be as effective as it could be if you can’t see the world from my eyes. You’ll never understand my assumptions, pressures or my motivations.

As a marketer, you can’t even start your work without understanding what a future customer is thinking about. In today’s age, you can’t just throw stuff in front of them on TV and hope to make a sale.

As an elementary school teacher in the inner city, if you don’t know the issues your student faces at home, you’ll never be able to understand them, find common ground with them, and eventually capture their imagination during class.

As a lawyer, if you represent your own agenda (even if it is for justice) without understand the pressures they feel, you will never be on the same page. As the phrase goes, “if you force them to fight and you lose, you’ll go home devastated but your client may not have a home to go to.”

And as a leader,  you won’t even be remotely as good as you could be if you can’t imagine life through my eyes. Understand what inspires me and how I view the world.

When we extend our hand, it usually means we have the time or resources to help. We give quick advice. We give a small donation. And then we’re on our way.

But when we extend our heart, we do it because we understand what it’s like to be them. We put ourselves in their shoes for just a second. It takes more time and it’s a lot more risky.

It’s a whole lot easier to extend your hand to someone. But it’s a lot harder to extend our hearts. That’s why there are not many TRULY GREAT lawyers, marketers and leaders.

Just a thought.

Most advice is mediocre advice. That’s why if you ask more than one person, you’ll often get different responses.

Whether advice for you application essays. Job interviews. Decisions at work. How to find funding. Or how to get attention of that special someone.

Don’t get me wrong. People mean well, especially friends and family. But they still usually don’t give the best advice.

This leads to us to three challenges as we continue to look for ways to do great things in the world.

1. Understand that everyone will give different advice. Many people because they are uninformed on the issues and others who just give you plain bad advice. You have to learn to forget about it before you get stuck thinking too much.

2. Try to figure out the actually useful good advice. Filter through the information. Find people that understand how things work. And people that have been there before.

3. Find people you trust that will help you discern when your mind gets clouded.

All easier said than done. I know from experience. I’m sure you do too.

In a recent question, Manuel, from Brazil asked me about sources of professional development. Specifically, he wanted to know if I recommend any inspirational or personal development books.

See below for the question and below that for my video response.

Subject: Professional Development

Message Body:
Hi Jeremy

My name is Manuel. I wanted to thank you for all the work put into his blog. I just watched one of your last videos where you briefly talked about mission and goals in life. I have been thinking a lot about this for a few years now and Wanted to ask you about your personal and professional development experience. What other sources of development did you use besides having mentors throughout college? Do you have inspirational and personal development books that you recommend?

Thank you so much
Manuel Cardenas
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Structure of my response

Not enough people think about professional development.

“To become a great leader, first you have to learn to lead yourself.  To lead yourself you have to know yourself.”  -Harry Kramer

Three things: Mentors, Tips, Books.

1. Mentors are critical. Not only helps the mentee, but also helps you and the community at large.

2. Tips: A) Put yourself in tough situations. B) Think about leaders / thinkers you admire.

3. Books

A) Thinkers I admire: Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell, Cory Booker, President Obama

B) Books (highlight top 5): Leadership Lessons from the White House Fellows,  Never Eat Alone, Whos Got Your Back,  Steve Jobs biography, Audacity of Hope, Purple Cow, The Dip, Not without Hope, The Power of One,  Start With Why, The Lean Startup, Strengths Finder 2.0, The Leader who Had No Title, Primal Leadership (or anything by that author), Blink, Outliers, From Values to Action

C) Seth Godin 2012 recommendations

In a recent question, a reader asked me about choosing recommenders for a fellowship application. Specifically, she wanted to know who to use and what they should write about.

See below for the question and below that for my video response.

Dear Mr. Wilson,

It was a real pleasure meeting you at the networking event last week. I intend to take you advice in my quest for success. I read your blog and I have to say that I am truly impressed. Not only it is very well known, but it serves a purpose that I take at heart. Education.

….

As I told you yesterday, I will apply to the (Name) Fellowship Program. I went through the application today. For the letter of recommendation,  I am not sure if I should ask one of my undergraduate teachers, one of my teachers from grad school, or my boss from my last job, what do you think? Also, when it comes to the personal statement, I was wondering if I should focus on my work experience or on my life experience from my home community.

Any advice would be helpful. I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

See below for my video response.

You would know it was obvious. You would change your mind and buy in to the plan today.

It’s what Barack Obama is telling the nation about his vision for change and about the hundreds of hours he’s been spending on policy revisions. He’s been spending the past year trying to show the world before November 6, 2012.

It’s also what entrepreneurs tell funders about the game changing idea that can disrupt an entire industry if they can just garner support.

It’s what CEOs tell their teams a year before the next big product comes out, when nobody understands why he’s changing his plan in the middle of the year.

It’s what great nonprofit leaders tell their constituents. About the millions of lives they are going to impact three years from now.

It’s what a good MBA applicant sees, when she spends hours and hours on her essays, trying to show the school why she’s the perfect fit.

And it’s what a guy tells the girl he sees a future with, even though she might not know how it could possibly work out.

“If you only saw what I see.”

Often times you think that these people are just trying to convince you. But that’s not always true.  They are trying to show you what they see. To stop and look for just one second.

Its hard to show you because what they see is a little bit further out there.   But the great ones will try until they figure out how to get you there.

Think Barack Obama in 2008 when nobody thought he stood a chance.  Steve Jobs who proposed a new design for the MAC computer after being fired from Apple years before. Wendy Kopp who proposed Teach For America in her undergrad thesis all the way back in 1989. Sal Khan who posted YouTube videos of school lessons for years before getting a single bit of recognition for it.

If we only saw what they saw.

In the midst of all the chaos and noise today, the world needs poets.

No, I’m not talking about the Kellogg Section (e.g that was my section) although I loved all my poet classmates. Instead, I’m talking about people who have a way with words. People who can cut through the noise and articulate their vision so that other people can hear.

In times past this was much easier. Without all the noise, people were more focused, they had less distraction, and people could rally around them much easier.

But today’s world makes this more challenging. Today we have more soundbites to filter than ever.  We also have more messages in our Inbox and more people in the world than ever before.

Meanwhile, we also see news channels that spend 95% of their time talking about the bad news.  Websites using enticing headlines fighting for more eyeballs. And social media  putting out more quantity than quality.

In today’s unfocused time, we need people who focus on the positive. People that can capture the imagination of their companies. People that can touch the hearts and minds of their communities. And people who can inspire the spirits of people to create change from the other side of the globe.

In every industry and organization imaginable, we need to have poets.

The true story of Felix Baumgartner’s act of bravery can be seen everywhere you look online. Just this past weekend he became the first person ever to break the speed of sound with his record-breaking skydive from 23 miles.

Despite what they say, one thing everyone thinks of is finding the perfect match. Businesses looking for new customers. Working professionals looking to get into the right MBA program. NBA teams looking to draft a new star player. And anyone looking for that special someone.

That’s why businesses are willing to spend a lot of dollars trying to find the best customers. Because those customers will not only spend a lot of money but also be advocates and refer others customers.

It’s why NBA teams will dish out a few extra million to not only to get the best player but also to get the player that fits in well with the team. It could take a team from mediocre to NBA finals contender in just one season.

It’s why MBA prep programs focus so much on finding the right “fit” schools and careers. Plenty of people have failed out of top schools while others have been profoundly successful at lower ranked schools.

It’s why employees look hard to find the perfect mentor at their firms. Advocates who help them get good work and make it to the top of their careers.

And it’s why people say no to dating dozens of other people and wait on the one they think is a REALLY good catch. Someone who may not even live in their city.

I heard it put in this 3 step framework my marketing class back in my days at Kellogg. You want to find someone who

1. Likes your strengths
2. Doesn’t mind your weaknesses, and
3. Isn’t well-served competitively

So someone that like the things you do well. Doesn’t care so much about the things are you aren’t that good at. And doesn’t have anyone else like you around.

No matter what the context … find these people and improve your odds at success.

What does an MBA student from a top 5 program look like? How do they act and what things have they done? How can I be just like them?

I’ve met MBA students from schools all over the US, who come from every profession. I’ve met early career MBAs fresh out of college and older ones who had big jobs before coming.

And I can tell you this: many of them don’t have much in common. They don’t share gender, job title or income level. They didn’t go to the same college, take the same classes or have the same goals.

Ironically, one thing you’ll notice about MBA applicants is that they all seem to be trying to be the same person. Take the same classes, tell the same stories, talk about the same experiences and submit the same applications. All in hopes to be accepted to their dream schools.

You see the disconnect in all of this, right?

This is bad news is that if you’ve got the wrong genes you are NOT going to make it to the NBA or to the NFL (although I have one friend who figured out how–despite his scrawny stature he still made it all the way). But the good news is that if you want to go to the best business school in the world, become a better leader, and change the way business is done–you can.  Because neither your genes nor your job will get your in or keep you out.

Actually, MBAs do have one thing in common. Every MBA made the decision to apply to school and then worked hard to make sure they got in.

First impressions are critical. When you interview for a job. Meet new potential clients. A someone out on a date. You never get to make a good first impression again.

A few months ago, I opened up a new account at my bank. The first interaction was great. The employees were helpful and nice. They got me through the process quickly, and even gave me a discount.

At the moment I was happy, but over time the experience has taught me that last interactions might be far more important.

After they finished this job, their service has been worse. They’ve charged me with fees they didn’t explain And last week, it took two hours just to get a few cancelled checks. I was transferred between three departments, all on VOIP lines in South America that were hardly working.

The interaction was terrible. And this is what will stick in my memory. The last interaction. In my experience, it can make or break everything.

Good last impressions are great too. When the Dean of your school sent a personal message over the weekend to help with an important problem. When my realtor left me free cookies on two occasions after closing my condo. When I got a call from someone I was waiting to hear from (sorry readers, no links here!!!)

The good news is that just yesterday, the bank helped me get $120.00 back that was fraudulently taken from my account. And it only took 15 minutes. I was thrilled. Can my bad feelings be changing? Maybe not entirely, but the last impression helped.

In today’s disconnected internet-driven world, last impressions are more important than ever.  So what last impression are you going to leave today?

For the majority of us, it’s not the big things. Instead, it’s the small things that can make all the difference.Think about it.

Every time you are making progress on a big project at work but take a 10-second break to check email. No big deal right? Well, if you do that 100 times a day (most people do), that adds up not only to be a significant amount of time but also a significant distraction.

Likewise, drink a coffee every single day in the morning before work? Or a soda at lunch every day instead of water? A little drink never hurt anyone right? But a year later, what if you add them up side by side against a wall. Over 300 drinks would look at lot bigger now.

On the other hand, when you’re in a race to the finish line in middle of a huge project an extra hour can make all the difference. When you’re struggling through a tough project at work or school, a text message from a your mom saying “you can do it” can light up your mood. And we all know this to be true: even a 15-minute call from that special someone you like can change your entire day for the better.

All of us might be better off if we found a way to keep tabs on these little events.

If we lined up all our emails or coffee against the wall, seeing how many were there might be enough to change your mind.

On the other hand, if you just thought for a second about just how helpful an extra hour or a 15 minute call was, we’d do the same for others.

The deadline to work with my friend Emanuel Pleitez for his campaign for Mayor is On Monday. Please remind any students, recent grads or socially-minded professionals you know to consider it.

The application deadline is Monday, September 3, so if you are interested, please be sure to submit your resume to michael@pleitezforla.com and register: HERE

Fellows would join an amazing team already on the ground of alumni from schools all over the country, including Stanford, Harvard, UT Austin, UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC San Diego, Michigan, USC, Seattle, UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine, Cal State Long Beach, Princeton, Yale, UPenn, West Chester, Cornell among others.

Let me know if you decide to apply or want to be connected to the campaign.
–

See recent press on the campaign below

LA Times
Fox News
La Opinion (Spanish)

I am leaving on a trip Sunday morning, and the mere thought of going to the airport got me thinking. It got me thinking about the power of 15 more minutes. Let me explain.

There are two ways most of us generally travel.

The first is what most of us do. You think about your flight time, map out your trip to the airport and then leave on time. Along the way, you do your best to avoid traffic, repeatedly checking your smart phone to make sure you’re on track. But by the time you walk inside, you’re five minutes behind. You consider cutting the security line but you don’t … losing more time than you thought.  By the time you get through security you realize you’ve another five minutes, maybe even ten. So you take throw your computer inside a different part of your bag, get repacked as fast as you can and pick up the pace. Many of us can’t get that food we were craving, some of us are forced to start jogging, hoping … praying the doors haven’t shut. In the end, you barely made your flight.

The second way is to leave for the airport 15 minutes earlier. We don’t rush because it feels so early. You don’t spend time checking your clock and never once did you consider jogging, let alone running.

If you travel the first way, you’re sure to get stressed out. Sure you’ll maximize your time but you’ll also maximize chances of missing your flight, sweating by the time you get to your seat and not having enough space for your carry-on.

If you travel the second way, you don’t stress. There’s no chance of missing your flight. And if you want it, you can grab a bite on the way.

So what’s the lesson you ask? It’s probably different for everyone. But here are three:

1. First, is the importance of buffer time. Even just a little can change your entire day.
2. Second, the easiest thing to do is to do what we’re supposed to – in this case leave on time. But sometimes doing a little extra can make the difference.
3. Finally, the easiest way to deal with chaos and all the stress that comes with it, might just be to avoid it altogether.

So the next time you have a flight … or better yet … any important appointment, meeting, due date or deadline, consider getting started just a little earlier.  In most cases, option #1 will be the most tempting but option #2 will be better.

is a classic thing that happens to most of us. It happens when for part of the time you are working as hard as you can to get something done, but then once you finish, you have to stop and have to wait wondering if hurrying was ever worth it.

Think about it.

Movie crews hurry to finish setting up but then they wait for the director to finish the scene before scrambling for the next scene. Authors hurry to finish their books and blog posts, but then wait for someone to comment on it or give you a book deal.  We hurry and sign the contract, then wait for the lawyers to send their comments and revisions. And government officials — they are even worse than lawyers. You write a memo or brief as fast as you can to give to your superior, just to turn around and wait for hours just to be able to have a meeting with them.

But it’s not just a business concept. It also happens in our personal lives.

We apply to MBA programs or take the Bar exam, expending every bit of energy we have. But then we wait for months to get the result back. Or we call a girl that we like, leave a voicemail and sit around waiting for her to call us back, wasting hours in the meantime.

And in the end, many of us spend as much of our time waiting as we do working.

I propose that the best way to fill up that waiting time is to work on something else. Build in time for new projects. Set up time to revise old ones. And work on things you care about.  Not only does it help to pass the time, but it means you are continuing to work on your craft and getting better at things you care about.

And more importantly, for some of us, it helps you take your mind off of the stakes of what you’re waiting for.

Sometimes, there is nothing more important than good timing. When you’re applying to graduate school. Trying to find a new job. Hoping to get a promotion at your company. Or even looking to meet that special someone. No matter what the activity is, sometimes, timing can make all the difference.

When timing is bad, there might to be far more school applications than ever before, a boss that doesn’t want to put in a good word for you, or a gatekeeper at work that won’t help you get in front of the person you need.

On the other hand, when timing is good, everything you need can work in your favor. That gatekeeper will get you in front of the senior person at work. There’s an extra seat in the class because less people might have applied. Or your boss is having a good year and wants to see you succeed as much as he wants to do well himself.

I have a personal example from just this weekend. Small but a perfect illustration.

I was in an airport in another country. I was about to make my way back to the US and was mistakenly given a middle seat even though I was assigned an isle. But by the time I noticed, there was little I could do given the organization of the airport at the time.

But we just so happened to make our way toward the gate a few hours early to make sure our flight was still on time. Nobody was at the gate and the plane before ours was a bit delayed. We were about to make our way back to the cafeteria to wait out our flight there, since there weren’t enough open seats for all of us at the gate.

All of a sudden, a gate attendant speaks over the intercom, ”Everyone that needs a seat change, come by the gate so we can get your seats finalized.”

The timing could not have been any better. At that moment, I was about two steps from the gate. So I walked over and got in line, just before watching about 40 other people do the same. I told them about my mishap, and not only do they stick me in a window seat but it just so happened to be next to one of the guys I had went on the trip with.  And they told me, there were only 2 window seats left, and that I was lucky to get one of them.

It reinfored the idea, that sometimes timing can make all the difference.